If you’ve landed here, you’re probably someone who’s followed the rules. Worked hard. Achieved a lot. And maybe now you’re starting to wonder:

Why doesn’t it feel better?

Welcome to The Lawyer Burnout Solution, the podcast for women attorneys who want to stay in the careers they worked so hard to build, without running themselves into the ground. I’m Heather Mills, and every week, I’ll share the tools, strategies, and mindset shifts you need to reclaim your energy, confidence, and career.

You’ve checked the boxes. Built the career. Earned the respect. But there’s a part of you that still feels... off. Like you’re living a life that technically looks successful, but doesn’t actually feel like yours. This episode is about that moment. And the opportunity it holds.

This is the second episode in our What If It Gets to Be Good? series—for women lawyers who are tired of surviving, and ready to feel more like themselves again.

Today, we’re asking: What does success actually feel like when it fits you?

You were probably taught that success would make you feel safe.
Accomplished. Fulfilled. But what you might be discovering now is: success that’s built on performance, people-pleasing, or perfectionism doesn’t lead to fulfillment. It leads to exhaustion.

I remember hitting all my goals and still feeling like I was chasing something I couldn’t name. I had the title, the respect—but I didn’t feel like myself anymore. That was the moment I realized: I hadn’t defined success for me. I’d just inherited someone else’s version.

And I remember looking at the attorneys ahead of me—smart, accomplished, respected—and realizing I didn’t want their lives. That scared me. Because I’d followed the path exactly like I was supposed to. But suddenly I saw that path not as something to aspire to—but something I wanted to step off. Not because they were doing it wrong. But because I could finally admit: it wasn’t right for me.

And even when you start to sense that disconnection, your brain might push back: “Isn’t this just how it is in law?” “Everyone feels this way—why should I expect more?” “I should just be grateful. I have a good job. I make good money.”

Those are valid thoughts. And they come from a system that taught you to disconnect from your needs and measure your worth by your output.

But just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s sustainable.
And just because you’re good at pushing through doesn’t mean it’s working.

When you’re constantly managing how you’re perceived, success becomes something you perform, not something you embody.

And let’s be honest, performance is exhausting. Broadway actors don’t even do eight shows a week without a day off. But somehow we expect ourselves to nail every scene, every day, no understudy in sight.

Eventually, you stop asking whether your life feels good.
You just try to keep it running.

We grow up thinking the job will make us feel whole. But meaning isn’t something we get from our work. It’s something we bring to it. You’re the painter. Your job? That’s just the canvas.

And you will paint many things in your lifetime. Some roles will hold more of your creativity, your values, your presence. Others may simply fund the parts of your life where your purpose lives.

What does that look like in practice? It might mean choosing a role that lets you work fewer hour, so you have the energy to pour into your writing, parenting, or community work. It might look like mentoring younger attorneys because that’s what lights you up, even if it’s not billable. It might mean leaving litigation not because you failed, but because it no longer matches your values around conflict, health, or integrity.

And it might mean staying exactly where you are, but finally painting with your own colors, instead of the ones you were handed. But either way, it’s not the job’s responsibility to fulfill you. That’s your role—as the one who chooses how to show up.

And when you stop outsourcing your meaning to your job, you stop trying to prove yourself. You start building a career that fits who you actually are.

So here’s your invitation this week: take a few minutes and answer this question for yourself: "What does success mean to me in this season of my life?" And then: "How do I know when I’m living it?" What shifts in your body when you’re in alignment? What habits fall away when you’re not performing?

You might notice: I stop overexplaining myself. I start choosing what energizes me instead of what impresses others. I stop trying to be the “perfect” lawyer and start being the real me.

One of my clients did this reflection and realized she was chasing a version of success she never actually chose, one built on awards, partnership, and proving herself. When she got honest, she saw that what mattered most now was freedom, family, and integrity. She didn’t quit law—but she did shift her hours, chose a new team, and started measuring her success by how she felt at the end of the day, not the title on her email signature.

This kind of realignment doesn’t require a full-life overhaul. It starts with asking a better question—and being willing to listen to the answer.

Let me tell you about another client. She was already working at a top firm, already successful by every external measure—but secretly bored and restless. Not because she wasn’t capable, but because she wasn’t challenged in the ways that mattered to her.

When she did the values realignment work, she realized that what she wanted wasn’t less ambition, it was more purpose. Bigger impact. More creativity. More meaning.

So she pitched a new role at her firm, one that centered on the kinds of cases and clients that lit her up. She took on more responsibility, yes. But this time it didn’t drain her—because the fuel wasn’t fear of failure. It was desire. Passion. Curiosity.

She stopped working to prove herself to others—and started showing up as a woman who believes in her own ideas, her own leadership, her own voice.

Because when success actually fits? It feels like presence. It feels like you. It feels like growing and being challenged to be the best version of yourself. 

And that version of you—the one who leads from the inside? She’s already here. You just have to stop performing and start listening. This isn’t about blowing up your career. It’s about reclaiming the part of you that gets to decide what success looks and feels like.

If this sparked something for you, I’d be honored to help you figure out what your next step could be. This is the heart of what I do with my clients: helping you redefine success from the inside out, so that you can build a career that actually fits.

You can book a free call using the link in the show notes. No pressure. Just one honest conversation about where you are, and what’s possible next.

That’s all for today. This week, if you find yourself slipping into old patterns, remember: it’s human. The goal isn’t to never fall—but to know you can always return to yourself, without judgment. Be kind to yourself this week, despite the imperfect moments. I’ll be here cheering you on. Catch you next week.